Are therapists ever attracted to their clients?

While many of my clients are attractive in various ways, I have never wanted to be involved with them in any other kind of relationship outside of the therapeutic one.

Once I take on someone as a client, I take on a very special role as therapist, which means that my sole aim is to help them with whatever they are dealing with. There is no expectation that they do anything for me except come to sessions and pay my fee. Developing such a relationship is very complex and deep-rooted, which makes it very hard to imagine any other kind of relationship with them.

They do not know me, except in my role as therapist. Even if they idealize me in this role, they do not know me in other contexts. To me, real attraction happens when there are reciprocated feelings. In therapy they are completely contextual. I only know them as clients, and they only know me as therapist. To have any other kind of relationship would me two very different people meeting in another context, which is not something I would ever do.

But it’s very easy for me to see that they are smart, funny, charming, beautiful, handsome, ambitious, creative, kind, sensitive, etc., which are all qualities I find very attractive.


November 11, 2019